So Close
by OBluver
Summary: Alex was torn from Izzie, and upon her return finds the suprise of his life. From Alex's POV. I love it, so I know you will! R/R... REVIEW, please! I love you all!
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Ok this is my first Grey's Anatomy ff, so be nice! LoL, jk. I like any and all comments good or bad, I just prefer the good. Just as a warning it, might get a little cliched soon, but HEY what isn't a cliche now a days! So I hope you like it, and... REVIEW! 

Disclaimer:I do not own Grey'sAnatomy I onlyown the box sets!

It has been five months, seven hours, 37 minutes, and about 8 seconds. Five months of lying awake in bed at night. Five months of uncertainty in my job, and in life in general. Five months of being in a hospital full of people, but still being so alone. It's been five months since I've felt the warmth that seems to surround her, or smelled the sweet scent of her perfume. Isobel Stevens left me in the cold rain five months ago, and my heart has yet to recover. 

My day to day life had become a blur of unimportance and inconvenience. I could no longer strive confidently down the halls of Seattle Grace, and my work had become forced. On more than one occasion I found myself turning down a surgery. My heart wasn't in it anymore, and more than one person had noticed. 

Meredith tried her best to cheer me up. In the beginning she would wake up early and try to make us all breakfast, which usually resulted in disaster. And for a few minutes her attempts actually worked. I discovered watching someone stumble around a kitchen frantically could be quite entertaining. I even managed to laugh once. But then it all came back to me. 

When Izzie first got the news, the first place she went was to the kitchen. That night she made about a dozen cakes, each with homemade icing. She never stopped to talk to any of us. No, she went on as if she could bake it all away. But when it became obvious to her that baking couldn't help in the slightest, she packed her bags.

Christina once told me that she never understood why she had to go, but I knew that was wrong. Although Christian and Izzie had never been the best of friends she knew her well enough to know Izzie's nature. She was compassionate and caring. It made her both a good doctor and a good person. It was something that was beginning to be sorely missed at Seattle Grace. 

The harsh realities of our jobs seemed to darken a little more when Izzie left. Patients came in and out like they always had, but all hope seemed to be drained. Izzie had been the person that kept everyone's spirits up. She made us believe that what we were doing was worth it. And without her constant presence as a reminder of this fact, what used to be my safe haven turned into a nightmare. 

The night she left was one of the hardest in my life. She had come to the hospital to inform the chief of her leave of absence, and to say one final goodbye before she was on her was. She forced a smile on her face as she hugged doctors and nurses alike; assuring each that they wouldn't even notice that she was gone. Even in her own time of need she found ways to comfort others. 

I idly stood back, patiently waiting and dreading my time to say goodbye. And slowly but surely people began to drift away from the queue until it was only the two of us left.

"I'll walk you to the door." I offered softly, and she nodded an obvious lump forming in her throat. I knew how much the hospital meant to her, and how it was killing her to leave. My hand slipped silently into hers as an act of comfort, and she took it gladly. The rain was pouring and, upon reaching the front doors, stopped me.

"You don't have to go out there. We can just say goodbye here." She said softly looking down at her feet. We stood in silence for second still awkwardly holding hands.

"I'll miss you, you know?" My voice was quiet and I was almost surprised that she could hear me over the steady beating of the rain. 

"Hey" she tried to say cheerily "that means more surgeries for you right?" The smile quickly slid off of her face as she saw the look on mine.

"Izzie, be serious." Tension hung in the air as we looked in between each other. "You know I love you." It was a statement not a question. She never looked away from my eyes as she nodded her head soundly. "Then why do you have to go?"

"Alex…" she started, but quickly faded off in an almost defeated voice. "I have to go. What kind of person would I be if I left my own mother on her deathbed alone?" It was a typical Izzie question to ask, and I had thought about my reply a long time ago.

"Why not bring her here then?" He said, looking away from her to motion at the bustling hospital around him. "She would get the best medical care in all of Washington, and you would get to stay at your job." I looked hopefully into those big blue eyes again, but I saw nothing but sadness.

"She's never left her home, and I know full well that she wouldn't be happy spending her lasts days in this hospital being treated like a patient." I opened my mouth to make another argument but she quickly cut me off. "Plus you know that we don't have the money for her to stay here long term. It would cost a fortune, and my salary probably wouldn't even cover half the costs." 

"Then why don't you hire a private nurse to stay with her?" It was my last minute hit to left field, my last attempt to keep her as close to me as possible. 

"If I can't afford to keep her here, I definitely can't afford to hire a private nurse." She connected her other hand with mine, and looked up at me with sad eyes. "Alex, I have to go back and do this for her. I shouldn't be one of her regrets as she heads towards that light." I sighed sadly looking down into her soft face. "If it's any consolation I'll miss you too." 

And with that she leaned up and gently pressed her lips against mine. The world stopped for that brief moment, and it seemed like there was only the two of us. But as quickly as it had come it went, and she slipped smoothly out of my arms. 

"Goodbye Alex." She walked out the front doors into the pouring rain. 

As I walked out of the house this morning it was raining as heavily as it was that day and I let out a sigh of contempt. It seemed that life wanted nothing more but to bring me down. The hospital was surprisingly quiet when he arrived, and he couldn't help but wonder where Meredith and George had gotten too. They had left earlier than him this morning claiming that they had patients who needed to be tended to.

As I walked down the hallway a few people nodded at me but everyone knew it would be no use to try to start a conversation. I had never been that guy, and in light of recent events wouldn't be that guy anytime soon. It was almost shocking how slow it was. 

With a slight suspicion I continued down the hallway until I got to the residents changing area. I knew that everyone would most likely be on rounds by now leaving the place all to me. I opened the door and immediately froze at what I heard. It was a laugh, a laugh I hadn't heard for what seemed to be a life time. 

It had been five months, seven hours, thirty seven minutes, and about eight seconds since I had seen her. Thunder clapped outside signifying the coming of something bad was coming. And the moment I saw Isobel Stevens standing before me, I couldn't help but agree. 


	2. Chapter 2

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A/N- Hello everyone! Happy Easter to you all, and if you don't celebrate easter HAPPY SPRING BREAK! If you haven't noticed I am on spring break and I love it! So here is the second chapter. I told you before that this story was going to get a little cliched, but hey I think it is pure Grey's Anatomy drama! So I hope you like it. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You don't know how much it makes my day! So keep it up, because reviews are great motivation to keep writing! Love you all. -OBluver

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There are 6,453,628,000 and only one can make my heart stop beating in my chest. She is the only person who can wipe the smirk off of my face with a single look. I have no doubt in my mind that if she would have asked me to go with her I would have jumped at the chance. Izzie Stevens simply has all of me, and as she nervously stood before me I felt my heart split in two.

The Izzie before me wasn't the same Izzie that left me five months ago. Her skin glowed under the florescent lights of the changing room, and her eyes seemed to have become a richer shade of brown. The bulge in her belly was obvious, but not overly so. It was easy to say if pregnancy favored anyone, it was Izzie Stevens.

The laughter that had been emulating around the room when I had entered stopped immediately, and I could already feel the tension in the air. Curious looks from other residents came reigning in from all sides. They wanted a show.

"Alex." My name escaped her lips and I felt my spine tingle softly. She had yet to look me in the eyes, but instead chose to focus on a spot directly over my left ear.

"I was just coming to get my bag; I'm taking the day off." I found myself saying, quickly going over to my locker and plucking the old gym bag out and throwing it over my shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Meredith and Christina exchange worried looks, but I couldn't pay them any mind. No, I had to get out of here as quickly as possible.

Shutting my locker I threw the bag over my shoulder and muttered a "see you later" to Izzie's general direction. And then I was gone, out of the ill environment that had once been filled with happy memories. The hospital seemed to have picked up from the time he had been in there, and now nurses rushed nervous patients down the hall.

But the commotion around me was nothing compared to the battle that was raging inside of my own head. Questions ran themselves raw as he tried to think of their answers in vain. I heard light footsteps behind me, but thought nothing of it. You could almost never be truly alone in this hospital. The elevators were looming near, and my heart leapt as I saw my means of escape.

"Alex" a small voice rang behind me almost making me stop in my tracks. But I soundly ignored it and pressed the elevator button signaling down. "Alex isn't right." The elevator door was opening, and I walked briskly in only to have her follow me.

Being stuck in an elevator with Izzie was the last thing I wanted at that moment. I couldn't look at her without by heart beating faster. I couldn't smell her scent without my heart breaking into a million pieces. It was as if the mere presence of that small person inside of her made it impossible for her to be in my vicinity.

"At least let me explain myself." She said obviously frustrated.

"You never called." I said lightly not turning toward her but instead looking straight ahead at the dull silver of the closed elevator doors. "I told you I love you, and you never called. I didn't get one letter. You have had plenty of opportunities to explain yourself." My own words seemed to kill me.

It was as if reality had hit. It took five months of devastating patients, and one pregnancy to make me realize that Izzie Stevens wasn't mine. Scenarios of her return had played through my head for months, and in all she had come back immediately into my waiting arms. Never had I imagined that she would not be mine at all, but someone else's.

"Alex, I didn't want to tell you something like this on the phone or in a letter." She said, gracefully draping one of her hands over her protruding belly. Neither of us had actually said the words yet. I couldn't bring myself to wrap my mind around her having a baby, someone else's baby.

The final ting rang through the elevator, and the silver doors slid open smoothly giving me my access to freedom. My legs seemed to be moving quickly while the rest of my body seemed to be going numb. A combination of shock and hurt was now settling in my stomach giving me the utter urge to punch something, but I bit back the feeling and just continued to walk until I was outside in the pouring rain. I hadn't even stopped to think if she had followed me.

"You!" that small voice that had range out from behind me had grown louder and angrier. "I thought you of all people would be supportive of this!" I turned around on the spot to stare at her incredulously. It was no longer anger that filled me, but shock.

"And why would you think that?" I yelled back angrily. Seeing her broke my heart even more. Her glow radiated even more in the pouring rain, and her beauty was still unmistakable. I could tell that she paused, protectively, for a moment before continuing.

"Because you told me you loved me." She said a little sadly. This was obviously not what she had been expecting upon her return either.

"Izzie, do you want to know what I've been doing for the last five months?" I spat bitterly slowly approaching her statue like form. "I have waited like a dumb puppy. I have moped around this hospital like a ghost. Surgeries became pointless, and food became unfulfilling. But I pushed through all of that because you told me you would come back. You said you would come back to me. So, yeah I said I love you. And you returned it by getting yourself pregnant." The words fill off of my lips heavily, and that little bit of my heart that had been left fell away and left a black hole where it had been. "So don't tell me I'm not being fair or right, because I'm the one who just got my heart broken."

I turned and left. Her shocked face played through my mind like a silent movie.

* * *

"Gimme another." I grunted placing the empty bottle onto the bar in front of me. My brain was no longer filled with painful questions but rather with a blur of a reality I could barely recognize.

"Alex, look dude, I really don't think you should…" Joe started, wiping a dirty cup in his hands and giving me a look of concern. In his situation he probably did have a reason to be worried. I drink, but never excessively. No, I was not a Meredith Grey drinker. But tonight I had gone passed my limit and then some. For a moment my drunken state seriously considered what Joe was saying, but then without any warning my hand slammed against the table.

"No, gimme another." I said a little harsher than I intended. I could see the hesitance in Joe's eyes as he slowly reached under the bar to grab another beer.

"Thanks Joe, but I'll handle this one." The voice that rang behind me made me cringe on the spot. No matter how hazy my mind was I would always be able to recognize that heavenly voice.

"I don't know Iz. With the way he was rambling earlier I don't know if he really wants to see you…"

"It's alright; I know what I'm doing." She replied back. Joe nodded his head and went further down the bar to help another customer. I sighed resting my elbows on the bar, and my head in my hands. A soft headache was starting to agitate my fuzzy mind, and it wasn't making me feel any better. I felt the warm presence sift to my left, and I could tell that she had taken a seat beside me at the bar.

"Alex" she started, obviously determined. "Are you a doctor?" The question shocked me, and I almost lost it and looked at her face. But even in my drunken state I knew that I would not be a good idea for 

me to look into those beautiful brown eyes. If our eyes were to meet again, it would most likely result in my heart breaking even more.

"Not at the moment" I muffled through my hands, referring to my obvious intoxication. The headache was slowly but surely getting stronger and I could feel my strength ebbing away.

"Still, I think someone who hasn't gotten their medical license should be able to tell how far along a woman is just by looking at her, don't you think?" My brain was trying to catch up with her words, and it seemed that things were getting lost in translation. The whole experience of talking to her right now was beginning to sober me up, and that was exactly what I didn't want. The anger I had been feeling since I had first seen her began to rise in my chest, and between it and the alcohol words began to spew helplessly out of my mouth.

"You know what Izzie I don't need this!" I slurred looking up at her for the first time since we had been sitting there. "Why don't you run off with your baby daddy, and live a perfect little life somewhere far away." I continued to look into her eyes, numbly unaware of the pains in was doing on my heart.

"You know Alex, I would love nothing more than to do that. But my 'baby's daddy' is sitting in front of me drunk out of his mind, so I think that would make it a little difficult to run, don't you think?"

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A/N- Thanks for reading, hope that you loved it and will review!


	3. Chapter 3

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A/N- Aloha everyone. This is the thrid installment of my story. Sorry nothing big really happens in this chapter. It was just kinda a filler that I threw up so you guys wouldn't be upset for me. Sadly for you I will not be able to update at all next week! :( But it works out for me because I will be on vacation in Hawaii! But hopefully i will get a lot of writing done on the plane, and be able to update right when I get home. So I hope you like it, and again I really want to thank everyone for reviewing, it really makes my day! So keep that up. Love you all.

Erica

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There was a small wooden plaque that used to hang on the off white wall of my kitchen, in my family's home. It was small and inconspicuous; I don't think I ever asked how it came to be there. It was as if the house had simply been built around it. As I grew older what was inscribed on that plaque grew more and more ironic.

**"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!"**

When my father's problems began, I felt that the irony of the whole situation was mocking me. But it had never felt as mocking as it did in that moment. Because it wasn't a gentle voice that was calling me a father, it was the loud, sarcastic filled, voice of the woman whom I begrudgingly loved.

My head swam with a combination of dismay and drunkenness. She was still looking at me with determined eyes, but now I could see a little questioning behind them. My state was sobering ever so slowly, and it became more and more apparent that we couldn't talk about his here. Sure, Joe's bar was one of the most important places in my life, but it was not exactly the ideal place for discussing my unborn child.

My unborn child; it hit me like a pile of bricks. She had said that the baby currently growing inside her was indeed mine. It was ours. It was as if the numbness that had filled me earlier was melted away by a fire that was now filling in the pit of my stomach. Every bit of me was warm as I thought about that small being that would eventually be my child.

I looked over at Izzie who was looking at me expectantly. It was then that I realized I had been sitting there for several minutes lost in my own thoughts. Reaching into my wallet, I threw some money down on the bar and proceeded to wobbled slightly off my bar stool.

"Let's get out of here." I said simply holding out my hand to her. She looked from my hand to my face skeptically, as if looking for the catch in the situation. Eventually she let out a sigh and relinquished her hand to mine. We made our way out the door quickly and I caught a shout of 'don't let him drive, Iz'.

We reached my car in silence, and I slipped the key into her hand before I walked around to the passenger side. Questions were racing through my head like wildfire, and it took all of my self-restraint to hold back from asking them. All in due time, I kept reminding myself, It's better to wait until we are in our own home than risk fighting in a moving vehicle, not only for my sake but both of theirs.

My heart leapt as I thought about it. That would be my job from now in. It wouldn't only be my life that I would have to look out for, but the lives of my child and the love of my life. Things like wrestling matches and internship seemed to melt in comparison to what my newest duty was. Nothing could even compare to its importance.

The lonely view of our home came looming out of the darkness almost all too soon. My heart began beating faster in my chest as the prospect of having a real talk with Izzie became all too real. Even the walk to the front doorway felt like it took eons longer than usual.

The living room was a comforting sight, and I immediately felt the usual comforting feeling of home rush over my body. In the last five months home had become my safe haven. Considering our different schedules at the hospital, it was a place where I found I could be alone with my thoughts. It was a place that had both haunted me and comforted my sorrows. But now it seemed all new to me.

This could be the living room in which I raised a child. My kid's first steps could be on this floor, and his first words might very well be said in this room. My head swam with the possibilities, and now even in the darkness this room and house seemed more special than ever.

I heard a small clearing of a throat behind me, and I turned around to see Izzie looking at me as if I was crazy.

"Look Alex, we can talk about all of this tomorrow. I should have known not to drop such a big bomb on you when you were drunk, it wasn't…"

"I'm alright." I said quickly cutting her off. A small chuckle escaped her throat, and it became very obvious that she didn't trust my judgment at the moment.

"Alex, you're half way to Margaritaville! When we came in you practically gawked at the same room you see every day. I would say that is far from being lucid enough for the conversation we need to have." She raised her eyebrows, as if signaling if I was going to argue, this would be the time. I sighed and decided that it was not worth risking a fight. When she saw my silent defeat a small grin spread across her face. "Alright, goodnight then Alex." She said turning on her heels and heading up the stairs towards her old bedroom.

"First thing in the morning" I suddenly burst out loudly. "We're going to talk about his first thing in the morning." She nodded her head lightly and continued up the stairs leaving me in silence.

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Sunlight annoyingly seeped through the thin layer onto the exact spot where my head laid face up on my pillow. I glanced sideways at my clock only to see that it read 7:00. My head was throbbing painfully, and it was times like these when I wished I could invent a cure for hangovers. I am a doctor for God's sake! But thinking that the mysterious solution for hangovers wouldn't be found in my bed I begrudgingly got out of my warm bed. The wood floor was cold, and the moment my feet came in contact with it memories came flooding back.

_First thing in the morning;_ I remembered myself saying. The drowsiness that had filled me only seconds ago was now gone, and my feet carried me quickly out the door of my own bedroom down the hall and into Izzie bedroom easily. She lie in bed looking like an angel, and on most occasions I wouldn't wake her up for anything. But now was different. We had to talk.

"Izzie" I said softly closing the door behind me as I entered the room. Her form had yet to move and I tentatively sat down on the bed next to her sleeping form. "Izzie you have to wake up." As her eyes slowly flutter open I felt the stirring of butterflies in my stomach.

"Alex, what time is it?" She asked rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her eyes connected with the alarm clock and she groaned looking at me as if I had grown an extra head. "7:00! Seriously?! What could you possibly want at 7 o'clock?"

"I want to talk." It was simple but got to the point. At this point the least of my concern was to be eloquent. My eyes flicked down towards her enlarged stomach for a moment before flicking back up to her face. Her expression softened as she realized what I was referring to.

"Well what do you want to know?" She asked more softly this time.

"Everything."

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A/N- Hey everyone, sorry for kinda leaving you high and dry but I wanted to at least update before my vaca so I hope you enjoyed and REVIEW!


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